


That Beloved Brightness

by Whisful



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23296123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whisful/pseuds/Whisful
Summary: First-person - POV: Izumi Sena."Leo-kun is... he's so behind, even his head's still in last year! Gods, soooo annoying!"For some inexplicable reason, Leo is acting like how he was in 2nd year.A lot of thought jotting and exploring Izumi's mind regarding his relationship with Leo.
Relationships: Sena Izumi/Tsukinaga Leo
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	1. In their eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration, it's come, it's come...✰

Season: Winter  
\-------  
[Studio]

* * *

  
It had been a week after Halloween Party, the live was a huge success, of course. But us, Knights, couldn't be happy with just that - we still had work to do, a stage much greater to stand on to represent ourselves, the Starlight Festival.

Arriving at the place where we usually meet up for practice, I was hit by a sudden weight on my chest, warmly wrapping around me before a nostalgic voice pierced my ears.

"Sena! Sena, there you are! Where were you? I've been looking alllll over for you!"

_... Ha?_

My chest clenched, like my heart had turned to stone and started to sink into my stomach.

"Huh? What's with that look, Sena? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

I stared right at him.

That smile. The way he talked. That smile I could only see ever again in my memories. That voice, so lovingly and pure.

_Was this a cruel joke?_

"Leo... kun?"

The stutter came out subconsciously.

His face turned to worry, with his embrace tightening, as if to squeeze out whatever was bothering me right out of me with his warmth.

"Sena, is something wrong?" before putting on a smile and slowly burying his face into my chest "I'm right here, Sena~. It's me, Leo."

My emotions became twisted, _this has to be a joke_ , I thought - whether I should cry, laugh or yell... nothing came out and all that was left with just the feeling of wanting to punch him.

"No, nothing's wrong... Hey, why are you sticking so close?"

My eyes weren't deceiving me, he was wearing that hoodie he returned to school so suddenly in, the same hoodie he wore along with an expression I had never seen before. That was when I realised, he was no longer a Leo-kun I knew.

It's nothing but a broken fragment of the past now.

So, then, who was it in front of me, in my arms holding me so lovingly?

"Sena, you're not nearly as snappy as you usually are, something's definitely up. You usually scold or nag me with a "stop clinging so close" or a "I'll kill you", you know."

"... Shut up, idiot! I don't have to waste all my energy on you, you know?"

"Wahahaha! You're not wrong, Sena. You are the smart one, after all - but you love taking care of people, right?"

"Ugh, that doesn't mean I have to do everything for you, it's a real pain."

The words I listened to and the words which were coming out of my mouth, I've heard them before, it was like a repeat of a distant memory unfolding right here, right now - that memory I had buried so shallowly resurfaced in an instance.

That beloved brightness which had been lost... it was right here.

But, _why?_

"Sena-senpai, and _Leader,_ I see you both are here--"

"Who are you?"

The youngest member of Knights turned up, honestly, hearing that question wasn't anything new to any of us.

"... I have repeated myself many times, please, try to remember it at least, _Leader_. I am Tsukasa Suou. You certainly are a handfu--"

"Why are you calling me _Leader?_ Are you a new member of Knights or something?"

The shitty brat's face, from irritation grew to shock before noticing the idiot's behaviour.

"L-Leader, why are you clinging onto Sena-senpai like some child? Surely, you must be joking when you asked if I am a new member of Knights - did we not resolve this matter in Judgement?"

"Judgement? I don't really remember you, though. If I had killed you, I'm sure I would have remembered you - especially you, since your voice is really nice!"

His words... _Ah, he was the Leo-kun after Chess' downfall._

"What are you on about, Leader? I do recall you saying that Judgement was an internal purge between former members of Chess--"

"Kasa-kun."

"... Yes, Sena-senpai?"

He hesitating answering, swallowing back his irritation from having his sentence cut and having his pride as a Knight cut down, as well.

"Huh? Sena, you know this kid? They look kinda interesting! Does that mean they are part of Knights? Well, not that it matters! Because the two of us together are invincible! Wahahaha!✰"

"Leo-kun, can you be quiet for a moment, didn't I tell you it was rude to interrupt someone when they're talking? Gods, how many times do I have to teach you the basics?! Sooo annoying!"

The words which were uttered from my mouth came out so naturally, as if things had never changed, and yet... the tightening feeling in my chest wouldn't loosen. It felt like my insides were being gorged out with a blunt knife.

"Ahh, fine fine! Are you friends with them, Sena? That's not fair, you made friends with someone else without me!"

"I already told you to be quiet - he's not my friend, okay? He's a member of Knights currently-- ugh, what the hell am I meant to tell you?!"

How annoying, just so so annoying, irritating even. It's not like he's actually from the past, so what's the harm in telling him everything-- but what would be the point in that?

And... once I'd start telling him stuff, the more he'd want to know and eventually... I'd have to face the one thing I couldn't talk to him face to face about. It'd be much worse if I had to tell him while he was like this, too.

"If I may kindly remind you, I am still present here, Sena-senpai."

That damn brat, couldn't he wait just a moment? It was already difficult enough to organise these thoughts and keep my head under control!

"Yeah yeah, I know that, I didn't forget - aren't you getting ahead of yourself, being so rude to your seniors, though? Look-- Leo-kun, can you let go of me already? I need to talk to Kasa-kun."

He made an unpleasant moan as he begrudgingly let go of me, the warm embrace slowly retreated, and while it was me who pushed him away and his grip had left me many times before... this time, it left like I had walked into the winter night alone. _Damn it_ , when did it become like this? Right after Halloween Party, too. It's as if God chose to punish me for being unable to fulfil the promise-- _any_ promise I had made to others, and to myself.

"Kasa-kun" looking over to see if the idiot could hear us "Ou-sama-- he's Leo-kun right now... as in, for some reason, his head seems to be in the past. Right now, he's acting like how he was in second year."

It took a moment for him to comprehend what I said, making his usual thinking gesture with his hands.

"I see, that is quite a peculiar situation. I do not know what Leader was like in his previous year, but I believe there must be a reason, and even a solution for such an affair. It does sound like he has _amnesia_ of some sort... regardless, I do think we should not let this hinder us or get the better of us."

It was easy for that shitty brat to say that, he had no connections or ties pulling him back into that distorted dream we forgot was reality.

"Yeah, for now we should tell the other two and try to keep him from running off... it'd be an issue if we lose him somewhere in the school."

"Very well, I will inform the other two."

While watching him pull out his phone, before I could even turn around to keep my eye on the infant high schooler, he was like a damn child holding onto me being unable to be separated from their parent for even a minute.

It's not like it was a bad feeling. However, right now, it only made my insides churn.

"What's wrong with you?! Can't you even stay put for a minute?"

"You're whispering secrets with that kid, I wanna know, too!"

"... It's not like you tell me your secrets, yourself."

It slipped out.

"Huh? What secrets? I'm not hiding anything from you, Sena~!"

He was lying, it was Mikejima who told me about his antics in the archery club and what happened between him and some delinquents. His broken arm that I scolded him so coldly about without knowing what he had gone through for that to happen.

I didn't want to argue with him about it, so I let it slide.

"Whatever."


	2. Shooting stars shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey look the lowkey ReiKao is here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this household, we support the idiot kids.

[Hallway]

* * *

For now, I had to keep him entertained otherwise he could disappear on me. Even though he stuck so closely one minute, the next minute he'd vanish.

Perhaps I was afraid that if I lost sight of him now, I'd lose sight of him forever.

I denied that feeling, I refuse to admit something like that, something so pathetic - it's because it was such a hassle to locate and chase that idiot, making me sweat and worry over such stupid matters.

"Sena, Tsukinaga, what are you doing in the hallway together like this? I didn't believe this was a sight I would be able to witness again."

The guy with glasses was here, he was someone who knew about the aforementioned idiot's secret activities. As the archery club president, and the school council president, he had all the authority and power to get away with something like that, without anyone knowing.

In a way, I was satisfied to hear the useless nobodies in the school were weeded out, punished for their wrongdoings, almost grateful they had the favour returned to them - but that meant I was happy with the idea of crushing them, destroying people like we had been doing ourselves, back when it was just the two of us in Knights.

I won't deny it, though.

"Keito! Kei~to! Hiya! Whatcha doing here?"

"Tsukinaga, if you please could refrain from yelling in the hallway... It's the hallway, why else would I be here? It's the only way to get to the student council office, unless you want me to take the window like some crazed individual."

I guess I should tell Hasumi before things get bothersome.

"Hey, Hasumi."

"... What is it, Sena? You have quite the serious expression there."

"Ou-sam-... Leo-kun here is, uh... His brain is stuck in last year's time period. If you don't wanna believe me, you can talk to him yourself and see. I'm not joking."

It was as if Hasumi had gone through so many ridiculous things that he didn't even flinch when I said something extremely stupid, it was along the lines of what Leo-kun would say when would be caught in his _wild imagination_ of his.

Instead he just looked at me, then to the clinging child on me, and sighed.

"Sena, I would like to let you know that our classmate, Hakaze, is going through something similar; not him specifically, but he currently has his hands full with someone more troublesome. While it seems a ludicrous proposal, I do suggest you speak to him about the matter - it might do Tsukinaga and... the other one, some good to have a familiar face to talk to."

... So it wasn't just me who was suffering by the world's cruel fate. And it just had to be _Kao-kun_ out of all the people to be unlucky enough to suffer with me.

Lady luck wasn't on his side today, either, it seems.

"Thanks for the heads up, then. I'll contact him about it."

With that, we continued to move along the hallway while I contacted Kao-kun the details and asked for his whereabouts.

"Sena, everything's really clean around here, and it's pretty quiet... it's Yumenosaki, yeah, but it's not same. What's going on?"

Even though I called him an idiot, he wasn't exactly _stupid_. He was a composing genius, after all. He just chose to ignore the things he didn't like in the world, he believed that no matter stupid, foolish or awful someone was, there was something in them that shone.

That's probably why he could even put up with someone like me.

"I thought you was feeling sick or tired since you stayed so quiet."

He wasn't oblivious, he was just naive and too _pure_ for this world. That was something which was both so illogical yet charming, but a misfortune for someone like him.

"Nah, but I guess I feel a bit uneasy? Though, since you're here by my side, I don't have anything to fear - besides, you'll handle everything!"

"Don't go relying on me for everything, you still have to handle things yourself, you know?"

"You're more capable than me, so it's much safer if I leave it in your hands! ... Sena, why are you wearing a 3rd year tie, though?"

This is what I meant by he wasn't an idiot. I'm sure he knew, or at least had an idea as to what was going and where he was in terms of time.

There wasn't really a point in trying to keep it as a secret.

"Leo-kun."

"What's up, Sena~?"

"To you, it looks like you've been transported to the future, right? But, ugh, to put it simply so that even you can understand it; you're in 3rd year, too. You've just lost your memories."

He looked at me, he wasn't shocked, bewildered or anything, his eyes shone with curiousity.

... Of course, no one knows what will happen in the future. Even if we link our little fingers and promise, there's no telling when it'll be treated like it never happened. Everything we had, everything we did together, it no longer exists in this world.

But to him, that's a future that doesn't exist, not right now, not in those pure eyes of his.

If I could go back to that time, what would I have done differently?

Yumenosaki was peaceful, now. There was no reason to fight, no reason to stain his hands and shatter the happiness we shared, together.

I didn't have to be the fool who took his friend, and for the sake of his own selfish dreams, sacrificed the one person who loved me, supported me, offered everything they had for me. If he could--

"Hey, Senacchi~ there you are."

"Kao-kun."

He looked pretty tired out, a little stressed from whoever he was dealing with - it had to be someone quite troublesome to make even the flirtatious bastard break a sweat.

"Sena, you made lots of friends in the future! See, I told you people would come to like you once they get to know you~✰" the idiot smiled, it's not like me and Kao-kun were friends, though.

"I see you've got your hands full with Tsukinaga-kun, ahaha~."

"It's not like it changes anything, though? My hands are always full dealing with idiots like him."

Before the conversation could drag out into whimsical rambling, even the presence of the troublemaker could be felt before he stepped out from the door.

Slinging his arm around Kao-kun's shoulder like they're good friends or something along those lines, his expression was so different compared to what it is now, but... a hint of the same dead eyes were worn on that lively expression. Not that I cared, though.

"Oohh~ Hakaze-kun, you got some pretty interestin' folk 'round ya."

Sakuma, when he was still known as one of the five Eccentrics. _Wonderful._

"I'm seein' some familiar faces~. Tsukinaga-kun and... yer friend, Sena-kun I'm assuming~."

"Sakuma-san, I already told you to stay inside...!"

Kao-kun looked unsettled, like he had been having such rough time keeping the untameable, tamed.

"It's real borin' bein' stuck in there, though. At least try to entertain me a little bit, will ya?"

"Rei? Rei! It's you, hiya! Everyone's acting really weird, but you seem pretty much the same. Well, Sena is kinda different, but he's still the Sena I love~!"

Idiot idiot idiot! Saying things like that, there's no way I'm still the same as I was last year - in what way in hell am I the same? Just because I look and sound the same, scolded him the same, and shoved him off the same... the me of now was undeserving of that love.

"Can you stop clinging to me now? I need to talk to Kao-kun."

The pout on his face and the furrowing of his brows... to be honest, I hadn't seen it in so long, and while I would still shove him off, the want to give in and let him cling on rung in my head all too strongly.

It was so child-like, so annoyingly charming that I just wanted to pinch his cheeks.

"Oh~ Tsukinaga-kun, least you're makin' it a bit more lively."

How the _hell_ were we gonna keep two individualists entertained? Ugh, my head is already losing it from maintaining whatever self-control, emotions or whatever the heck it was in check. It was so straining, suffocating even...

I don't deserve a second chance.

"Rei, we're stuck in the future! Well, Sena told me we just lost our memories of being in third year, and I don't really remember the other half of second year~. It's more fun to think we're stuck in the future, though!"

"Oohh~ so that's what you were told? I didn't realise and gave Puppy quite a scare earlier."

* * *

[Light Music Club]

* * *

Kao-kun was able to usher the two loudmouths into the dimly lit room - the Light music club room. It was definitely organised in a way to meet Sakuma's needs, so he could take it easier, it reminded me a bit of Kuma-kun - he would have killed me if he could hear my thoughts, though.

For a small while, we let the other two talk. I couldn't really keep up with a conversation between geniuses, half of it was nonsensical, or just discussing what had happened today between them.

"Senacchi, you doing okay?"

"Huh? Why are you asking that, Kao-kun?"

"You kinda look stressed out."

Even Kao-kun noticed... _how annoying_.

The last time I felt so irritated... Actually, that would be before Halloween Party, both dealing with the damn news article, but also because... for some stupid reason, all I could remember was how it all ended between us.

How it was all my fault.

"I'm fine, just tired out from dealing with _Ou-sama._ He's a real handful, even for me."

"Ahaha, yeah, dealing with Sakuma-san can be quite tiring, it's dragging a few old memories back too."

Yeah, that's for sure, it doesn't take a genius to figure that one out.

"... I don't really know what you and Tsukinaga-kun were like last year, but I did hear you two were practically inseparable. But, I've never seen you two together this year. I'm kinda worried, well, I dunno that much about you so I could be looking into things too much."

"You sure think you know more than you do, I'm fine, like I said."

Even though I could feel my words croak out of my mouth, distorted.

"If you say so, Senacchi." he sighed.

We weren't exactly people who pressed for each other to open up. That was one of the benefits of being in Knights, but also why it created such a fragile atmosphere.

"Hakaze-kun, confinin' me to this room ain't gonna do us any good. 'Sides, this scenery is kinda borin' and stuffy. Goin' outside won't do us any harm. I'll behave, I swear~."

"Uhm, the deal was that we stayed in here though, Sakuma-san--"

"C'mon, don't be so stuck up, it's only for a moment. Otherwise I'm gonna turn into a senile old man being trapped in 'ere."

"No means no, Sakuma-san... If you're not keeping the deal we've made to stay in here, how am I gonna believe that you're gonna behave when I take you outside?"

As Kao-kun closed the door adamantly, I watched as Sakuma head towards the window, probably to get some fresh air by opening it.

"... Sakuma-san, what are you doing?"

"Goin' outside."

"You're not... serious, are you?"

Sakuma just looked back at his surprised unit mate before continuing to stick his upper half of his body completely out of the window. Kao-kun _really_ had it tough.

"Okay okay! We'll go outside...! You're a real handful, you keep asking me why I'm treating you like a child, but, like, it's because you keep doing things like that!"

You know, Leo-kun wasn't too different to Sakuma in a lot of ways.

Not that I would know though, I rarely interacted with Sakuma - something about Kuma-kun being unhappy if we collaborated with Sakuma, and even then Sakuma avoided us Knights for some reason.

I watched them go outside, perhaps it'd be useful to drag Leo-kun along with them for fresh air, he wasn't really good at staying in one place for long unless it was with me.

As I head towards the door, hoping the idiot would follow like he normally did, a small tug on my sleeve pulled me back.

"Sena."

I stopped.

For some reason, the tone of his voice frightened me, it was like a tremble which tried to stay positive - he was quivering. Even without turning around, I could feel some sort of insecurity from him. He was probably putting on that stupid smile he uses to hide it from me, too.

"Yeah? What is it, Leo-kun? Don't you wanna head out for fresh air, too?"

"... Sena, we're not friends anymore now, are we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot to a friend for giving me advice on 2nd year Rei's speech. He's a real handful for someone like me... not exactly great at grasping his speech since I've not invested time into him.  
> Well, that's assuming I can grasp the others, too.
> 
> Otherwise, same old same old. I'm writing and somehow you're reading this.


	3. Don't forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to d-d-d-duel--
> 
> After Izumi finishes his closeted Oddball episode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot of writing (relative to the previous chapters). Apologies.

[Light Music Club]

* * *

I could only stare at him.

It's not like we were friends to begin with.

... Right?

Honestly, that was a lie, I only told myself and those around me that because I was such a contrary person. There's no way I could say something honest to him.

But, what am I supposed to say right now to him?

That we had a fight and haven't really spoken since?

That, I, corrupted him, dyed him in blood with wrongdoings and crushed that glimmer of light he held, just for the sake of my own selfish wishes.

That I was the fool who was so drunk on a single moment of glory that they turned their first and only friend, someone who gave them everything for the sake of the faint hope that they could relive that same high that drove them to madness. Blind to the fact they were the one who put their hands around an innocent smiling child's neck and choked them until their final breath could utter "It's all your fault."

Those words cut me deeper than any blade ever could.

But I was the one who opened him up with a knife and left him to rot until his core was unrecognisable. The damage done to me was nothing compared to what I did to him.

... What were we now?

We weren't friends, I don't think we are anymore at least - to compare what we have now to that shining brilliance in the past, to say we were friends now would be throwing dirt over that memory.

And yet, I wanted to say that we were.

That he was still the one who could stand by my side, as a friend, as an equal.

"We're not anymore, are we, Sena? That's why you've been acting really weird and stiff whenever I get close."

I couldn't turn around to face him, I didn't want to know what face he was making, I didn't want to see him crumble and fall apart for a second time.

You know, for someone who talked about atoning for their sins, I was being the biggest coward and fool here, unable to turn around and even face those sins.

"... I must have done something really awful for you to stop being friends with me, huh, Sena. Because you've always taken care of me and spoiled me with your kindness."

That's not it.

I was the one who did something completely unforgivable.

Don't say another word, Leo-kun, please. Otherwise... I might be the one to shatter this time.

You're slowly prying back open those wounds that still haven't completely healed.

The wounds which would take more than several lifetimes to heal.

"Pardon the intrusion, Sena-senpai. I see you are here as Hakaze-senpai said you would be."

It's like the damn brat had a talent or calling in his life to destroy that wall between me and Leo-kun.

"Narukami-senpai said it would be best if it was I, Tsukasa Suou, that assisted you in looking after _Leader_ while he is in this state."

Of course it would be Naru-kun out of all the people to suggest something like that, they always looked out for us like some older sister even when they're still a junior to two of us in Knights.

"Yeah? You better have an idea as to how to keep him entertained."

"Of course, I came well prepared, assuming that Leader will be co-operative... that of course, might be wishful thinking on my behalf, however."

His hands had a small rectangular box, playing cards perhaps?

"... Leo-kun, we'll talk later, okay? For now, keep this brat entertained, he's lonely without his wonderful and reliable senpais keeping him company~."

Leo-kun was an idiot, if I was the one to say something to him, especially right now, he was bound to listen.

"Huh? Mm... okay, Sena~."

"Hey, don't be so gloomy, remember, I'm only angry at you when you give me a reason to be angry at you--" I turned to face him "-- and right now, I don't have a single reason to be angry at you, okay?"

In the end, all I could do was smile weakly at him.

Even if it was a lie, that's what it means to be an idol - to keep smiling even if it was impossible to smile at that very moment - to be able to shine and put on an illusion of warmth so others could feel comfort and happiness in our light. That is what our worth as idols were, what people put a price on us idols for, and I was willing to pay any price right now to see the one in front of me smile.

With that smile of his he shone so brightly, it was one of the most beautiful thing on this entire planet.

"Wahaha☆ okay, Sena, sorry to worry you. It must be really tough for you to deal with a guy like me, and even now a flighty guy like me is still the leader of Knights! Your hands must be super busy and I must just be bugging you too much~."

From what I remembered and knew, Leo-kun must be surprised in some way that he was still doing idol work, after all it was all my fault he was still an idol after he became so tired of it. Honestly, I wondered if he was still in Knights because he was that stupid kid who put others before himself still. For our sake, as Knights, and because we cruelly dragged him back onto the battlefield he had already died on, he stayed with us.

"Yeah yeah, whatever, I've got some stuff to sort out but I'll be back later, I don't disappear randomly like you."

"Hey, Newbie, play with me! Whatcha got there~?"

"E-even now you call me as such, please, I have a name! My wonderful name was given to me by my parents so I would like it if you used it, _repeat after me,_ my name is Tsukasa Suou~."

For now, I let the youngest guard the fort - unlike his seniors he had no weaknesses, no ties, no weights chaining him down in this frozen ocean we called youth; while we tried to stay afloat with our hands unable to remove that baggage dragging us down, not only was he able to rest easy upon the surface, he also kept us afloat.

He was the only one who didn't carry the sins we were burdened with by carrying the name of Knights.

Because of that, he could act so brash, so reckless, so unsightly, and because of that he was boundless; he could reach where we would never dare set foot.

I needed to clear my head before it became an unbearable mess of the past.

I thought I had finally thrown it all away.

I thought I had finally started walking forward again.

But what have I really been able to do?

Desperately clinging onto this miserable life and trying to hold everything dear to me, for what reason, and for whose sake?

...

"Hey, Senacchi, you okay?" a tired voice called out.

"What, Kao-kun?"

"You've been sitting there for a while, everything okay? I know I've asked like, a few times, but even I'm tired from dealing with Sakuma-san. He's a real handful and too observant for his own good. Ahaha~..."

Just how long did I space out for?

"Like I said, I'm fine. Stop asking stupid questions, I'm not like you getting worked up over a single idiot, you know.

Though... speaking of Sakuma, where is he right now?"

"Oh, he went back to the Light music clubroom. Staying outside for him especially right now at this time and... well, just because his head's taken a trip down memory lane, it doesn't mean his body has..."

Kao-kun's voice trailed, something else must have happened that made them head back inside.

"Right, good to know there really is no cure for stupidity - he almost passed out from staying outside in the sun too long? Gods, you'd think for someone who's weak to the sun he'd avoid it."

"Ahaha, yeah. Well, he had his reasons... or something like that."

If even that idiot figured out that the 'future' of Yumenosaki was like this, then Sakuma would definitely have figured out what happened. Whether it was a gist of it all or a clear idea was beyond me, though.

"Hey, Senacchi, we should head back to the Light music clubroom, uhm, that kid in your unit, the youngest one, I don't think leaving him by himself with our problems is what us seniors should be doing."

"Hmph, since when did you start talking like you're a reliable senior, did you learn that from me~?"

"No way~ but the good kids in UNDEAD need someone reliable to lean on, you know?"

"Ha? Are you saying Sakuma isn't reliable?"

"Well, it's not that he's _not_ reliable, but he does things in his own way and thinks he understands people more than he does at times."

We talked a bit on our way back, about how troublesome our leaders were, how irritating they could be, how they caused us all sorts of issues, and how they were just damn charming in their own stupid way.

It's not like I hated him.

In this world full of unpleasant things, having something I didn't hate was uncommon, rare even.

With what he left behind for me, in the remnants of Knights, he left with me trustworthy comrades, his music - his happiness.

A reason to exist.

"You're cheating! Cheating! What the heck?!"

"I am not cheating, I have not violated any of the rules in the rulebook~. The one who is more likely to be accused of cheating is you, Leader. How many times do I have to tell you that your normal monster cards don't have special effects, they cannot magically fire beams or disappear and avoid destruction!"

"That's boring! Grrr...! You're too stiff, ahh, I can't believe I've lost so many times - I don't even know how many times it's been already!"

What the hell was happening.

"Certainly not, there would be no point in playing if we didn't follow the rules, you'd just keep making ridiculous things impossible to follow! However, I am quite surprised you was able to learn the rules and play so efficiently - disregarding your outbursts - in such a short time."

"Fufu, I might not look like it, but I'm a genius, after all! Well, in composing, but details, details~ wahaha! ♪"

"Ain't it 'cause we're stuck with a simpleton's deck? We're out here fighting with our bare hands while he's armed with handguns or something. Speaking of handguns..."

"Sakuma-senpai is correct, I thought lending you a complex deck would only confuse you as it becomes more complicated the more card types are involved. It was not my intention to have an unfair advantage, of course, as long as I am careful I shall not lose~."

The smug look on that brat's face said otherwise, though.

"Liar, stupid, stuuupid! You're enjoying beating me to pulp, an innocent little me who did nothing to you! I underestimated you, you have a fighting spirit, you're perfect for Knights!"

"I will happily take that as high praise from you~. ♪"

The atmosphere was odd, it was so light around them, even though the two with their heads caught in the past probably had so much on their mind, so many questions... had they always lived their life carrying these thoughts and kept moving forward?

No way, that idiot's head was always empty.

"Very well, I shall make a deal with you both, I'm sure this may interest you in some way as well, Sakuma-senpai. If either one of you is able to beat me in a match, I shall fulfil one request for you, whether it be to know about the current state of affairs within Yumenosaki, or something... less favourable, though I do have faith you won't subject your junior to anything vulgar."

"Kasa-kun, are you sure? You're making a deal with the devil like that~."

"Fufu, it is not a one-way deal, the condition as well which stands is; if I beat you both, I win, therefore I may receive a request to be fulfilled by either one of you, fair?"

Leo-kun looked at Sakuma, I couldn't really tell what they were thinking, a conversation between geniuses with just a look was a language beyond a human's understanding.

Good luck to Kasa-kun for instigating some kind of war with two leaders.

"That just means I gotta take you out once, right? I'll keep fighting you 'til I win! Grrr... I'll beat you at your game, stupid!"

"I will not lose to you, you are quite straightforward with your methods so I hope that you will show me something more interesting~."

It was pretty entertaining, to be quite honest. Watching Leo-kun get frustrated and challenge Kasa-kun over and over, it was sort of... refreshing. It was as if the whole world had always been peaceful and we could all laugh and play games so casually with one another freely like this.

"Ahh! Ahhhh! One more time, one more! What the hell even is a "Mirror force" that's stupid! Why isn't it banned!?"

"That is a comment I hear a lot among players both old and new. There are more fearsome and troublesome cards, but you do not need to worry, it classifies as a 'limited' card so I may only have one in my deck."

"One doesn't mean it doesn't exist, it's so stupid, I can't even try to attack you without being crushed... I'm going to keep going! Duel me again-- no, this is Judgement!"

"Fufufu, this wouldn't be the first Judgement I have participated in and survived, I will take you down as many times as you like, _Leader~_."

If things never had changed, if we had forgotten about our dreams without the need to be recognised by others... then perhaps, right now we could be laughing together, doing useless stupid things together, just how Kasa-kun was right now with him.

He could be smiling like how he was right now, with me.

We could still be happy with each other by our side.

"Now, I'm gonna use "Rush recklessly" to make my "Breaker the Magical Warrior" stronger and attack your last monster "Shining Angel"! You're defenceless!"

"You may think so, but you do realise you're playing right into my hands like that, no? I play my trap card! "Magic Arm Shield" which lets me choose a monster on your side of the field, take control of it and your monster is forced to attack it! Bid your "Mystic Elf" farewell."

"Huh?! No, my faithful shield, they were protecting me the whole time! You big stupid meanie!"

"Your life points are only at 500, but you have already lost. Due to my trap card in play, "Skull Invitation", every time you discard a card into your graveyard, you lose 300 life points. I believe even you can do basic maths, Leader."

"... Two cards mean-- ahh! No way..."

He looked annoyed, the continuous losses and inability to move forward in each match, completely overwhelmed by his opponent. But he only ruffled his hair and laid on the floor like the irritating guy he is.

"Because you had been tossing your cards away, your weapons, comrades, all for the sake of victory, it slowly chipped away at your health until your final reckless attack at me led to your ultimate downfall. Fufu~ Leader, you are far more predictable than I initially thought."

"Mm... okay, I think I'm done now. Rei~."

"Giving up already, Leader?"

"Huh? Well, there's no way I can beat you alone, so I'll let Rei handle the rest now! He's the brains, I'm the brawn, or something like that!"

Something felt off.

"Let's go, let's go~ entertain me~. I can't promise that I won't be as reckless as Tsukinaga-kun, but I'll put in the small bits of smart I got left in me for you... ♪"

That bold look on Sakuma's face, he had a plan, to be that confident there was definitely something up.

Well, it's none of my concern, this wasn't my battlefield to stand on at the moment.

I watched as they duelled in silence for a while, Sakuma's expression unwavering with a plastered smile on his face, while Kasa looked... in his words "vexed". Sakuma wasn't going down as quickly as he expected.

"Man, it's kinda irritating how quickly Sakuma-san picks things up and learns them... being perfect at everything~."

After talking with Kao-kun, the similarities between our two leaders were ridiculous.

They both struggled with idol work in some way; whether it be the uncertainty of their future as an idol, or even simply standing on stage - and yet, the moment they stood on stage they showed no weakness to their fans.

They were perfect.

Perhaps this was the effect of those who stood and desperately clung to the things they truly treasured while drenching themselves in blood, yet in the end they still lost everything, everything including themselves.

They sacrificed their own life for the sake of us nobodies so that we could have a chance to survive in this pitiful world.

Just how stupid did you have to be to throw everything away for another?

"O~h, looks like my win, Suou-kun. Where's all that energy from before gone?"

"I-- I can still turn this around!"

"That's more like it, c'mon, if you bore me I'll punish you. ♪"

"I would rather you not, Sakuma-senpai."

Kasa-kun was losing, watching it from the outside made it clear. The difference between a seasoned veteran from war compared to a newcomer soldier who had survived his first battle... Their experience reflected in their ability to remain composed.

I guess Kasa-kun underestimated Sakuma as it was his first duel.

"Fwuahaha~ it's your loss, _Suou-kun_."

"... I don't understand, this _is_ your first time playing, right?"

"Believe it or not, it is my first time playing, thank you kindly for teaching _ore-sama-chan_ the rules~"

"The game does have an element of luck, but this is... hardly something I could call "beginner's luck" so easily... you had a countermeasure for almost everything I pulled. How, may I ask...?"

A boisterous laughter came from our special little idiot in the corner.

"Newbie, you really did take the bait! You're not as smart as I thought-- or it's more like, you got on your high horse and didn't see the pitfall we planted in front of you since you were too busy looking straight forward from up there!"

That shitty brat wasn't taking this very well.

"What Tsukinaga-kun is tryin' to say is; the condition was if _both_ of us lose, that's when we lose, but for you, when you lose once it's game over."

"Yes, I am aware of the rules I proposed myself."

"So it didn't matter how many times Tsukinaga-kun lost, whether it's once or a hundred times, doesn't matter as long as I haven't lost."

"... So, Leader used himself to fight me over and over, but for what purpose? Simply tiring me out mentally may be a strategy, but I hardly had to think very hard against him."

"Information."

How much did they plan or think this through?

"Y'see, Suou-kun, the first rule of war is that the winners are dictated by one factor; communication - the relay of information of what they have in their hand, but also their opponents~."

"... Because I played so many matches against Leader, you could memorise what cards I had in my deck?"

"Exactly. We got to see every single one of your cute tricks, how you react to our movements, and alerted us as to what threats to look out for.

And that's not all, you worked so hard to keep Tsukinaga-kun entertained and enjoyed toying with him the whole time that you forgot we were at war here, havin' the upper hand and thinking everything will go your way was your fatal flaw. Tsukinaga-kun used that to his advantage by playin' the fool and forcing you to expose your hand to us."

"You are saying that instead, it was I, who played right into your hands, in the end? Allowing myself to be lured in with a false sense of superiority, exploiting my eagerness to win against Leader and even going as far as to egging me on whilst simultaneously feigning stubbornness and obliviousness.

I must admit, it was I, who underestimated my seniors... especially Leader."

"Wahahaha! Gotcha, it's our win! Even if I lost... fourteen, fifteen-- ah, whatever! Whatever it was, we won!"

They were definitely troublesome as a pair, thinking about it, was this how people saw us, Knights in the past, as?

We were terrifying, out of everyone's reach, so high up and mighty that we were impossible to love - no matter how beautiful something is, if you couldn't reach it and if it rejected you, trampled you to the ground, of course you'd come to scorn it yourself.

But that was then, this is now.

"Leo-kun, did you have fun playing with our stupid little junior here~?"

Thinking about it, that was right; we could remain just like this as if those sins never existed.

"Yup~! He's not a bad addition to Knights at all, but he's still rough on the edges and has plenty to learn, still~."

"Mhm~ Ufufufu~♪"

Leo-kun's eyes gazed right at me as I pulled him up close.

He could stay exactly the way he was, smiling and laughing in my arms, just like this.

"Sena~ is everything okay? You were acting weird earlier, but now you're still being kinda-- ahhh! Ahhh! Don't pinch my cheeks--!"

"Stuuupid~♪"

"Why are you pinching my cheeks!?"

"Hm? I guess I couldn't help it, bullying cute things is pretty fun, you know."

He stared right at me, face slightly flushed at my sentence. Damn, it's kind of fun being able to say stupid things to get stupid reactions from this idiot.

Why did I throw this all away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I used YGO TCG cards. Yes, you essentially read a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic--//sent to the shadow realm  
> Spot the symbolism in the card game.


	4. This isn't a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ritsu speaks a lot to Izumi.  
> And it's over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot about Ritsu so //kicks him into the chapter  
> I took forever since I didn't expect to get this far and got stumped. And then the longer you wait to write, the less you remember :)

[Light music clubroom]

* * *

"Sena-senpai, how are you faring? I hope you are feeling better... Well, I suppose I should be more concerned for myself as to what request these two shall be making."

Furrowing his brows, the brat looked at me as if I needed his pity, but it was true he should be more worried about himself. Who knows what those two would make him do.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine - I'll probably get something to eat, we missed lunch so we should eat. Leo-kun~ let's have something to eat, I made lunch and I'll let you have some, just this once, okay?"

"Yaaay! Is it because I won against the Newbie I get to be treated by you, Sena? You're the best! Wahahaha! ✰"

"It's only this once I said, don't get carried away."

He clung onto me so warmly and for a moment, I embraced him closely before ruffling his hair - there was no way I was going to express... warmth, myself.

Then again, why not?

At this very moment, that smile on his face was no mirage, in this wasteland it resided so purely, revitalising those who came across it... me included.

"Well, it's not like it matters - you always mooch off my food even if I don't share it with you, idiot."

He was such a child, a pure, shining gift to this broken world we lived in.

"Geh...! You got me there..." he half-heartedly acknowledged the guilt of his actions.

The days of our youth, the parts which glimmered and gave me a reason for existing, I had almost forgotten about them. Being distorted and only seeing the fragmented pieces to which they had become, I really did forget what the cracked up and impure youth once looked like, before it became so sullied, before we were no longer one whole.

Instead, my head was constantly clouded with that grim memory. The damage I had done, the damage which was almost completely irreversible... it was a fear I hated to admit.

I already had blood on my hands from the countless people we, of past Knights, had crushed.

But to live with the blood of the one you loved on your hands.

Can you even breathe, living with that?

Suffocating under the guilt, unable to move on, only capable of wishing your final words weren't ones of spite and warped pride.

"Sena~... you can let go of me now. Ah, Newbie, I had fun today! Maybe we can play again another time? I'm gonna think about my request, unless Rei wants to make it?"

I almost forgot about Kasa-kun. My attention was just so set on Leo-kun, but, really, who could ignore being reunited with something they thought they lost.

"Do whatever you want with Kasa-kun, it might serve as a good experience for him, after all~. But I don't want you bullying him so much that he can't handle the humiliation or something."

Kao-kun seemed a bit worried, like he knew what Sakuma was capable of requesting, or either he was worried about something else? It's not like I knew what he was thinking, so it was beyond me.

"Uhm, hey, I know you want to ask about the current state of the school, but it might be better asking someone that isn't Suou-kun, maybe?" Kao-kun seemed a bit on edge, something really did happen when the two left the light music clubroom earlier.

"Usually I'd be against askin' 'bout the future. Since, if we know 'bout it, it'd make things real borin', safe. Livin' without makin' mistakes means a life where ya can't grow, where ya can't _feel_ anythin', y'know? But it ain't like we are gettin' told about the future, this is the present we're livin' in right now."

Those two still had unfinished business, perhaps.

"Well, knowin' or not knowin' ain't changin' anything, so let's go do something else while the lovebirds here have their moment~."

Lovebirds? Sakuma was misunderstanding. But having the energy to argue with someone like him... I had better things to be doing.

"We'll be leaving, we don't usually hang around the light music clubroom anyway. Come on, Leo-kun, Kasa-kun."

[Studio]

* * *

"Ufufufu~ Kaaasaaaa-kuuuun~ you look pretty good in that."

"My, I didn't expect Ou-sama to ask something like this from you~ but it's just so cute on you that I couldn't help but join in."

"... ngh. I cannot even voice my complaints, regardless of _how_ humiliating this is. It was my mistake to make such a bold deal without truly considering the consequences..."

Naru-kun and Leo-kun were having fun, dressing up the shitty brat up as a maid. The drama club were organising their costumes and Anzu happened to past by carrying a few, Leo-kun had run into her and making her drop the costumes and among the pile was this maid outfit.

After some discussion, somehow we wound up deciding that Kasa-kun should wear it.

"Onee-sama is quite frightening at times... the look on her eyes when Leader said I had one request I must comply by and Leader suggested I wore... _this_. Honestly, I should be grateful this is all I have been subjected to."

Kasa-kun was right, though. Leo-kun could have asked anything of him, he could have even told Kasa-kun to leave Knights if Leo-kun felt like it - not that I would know exactly why, but it's not like I knew what Leo-kun was ever thinking.

"C'mon, Newbie, this is nothing! You're lucky I didn't ask something worse, you know? If you're a knight, you should be prepared for anything! Wahahaha!"

To be honest, us Knights have always been making outrageous deals, our battles fought with our lives on the lines; like Halloween Party, where the loser has to carry out one request from the winners regardless of how outrageous it was, or in Judgement where if we lost, Knights would have been disbanded by Ou-sama, himself.

While our fans remained in the dark so that they could only enjoy our performance to the fullest, we performed to our fullest-- no, beyond even. The higher the stakes, the higher we could reach.

"Newbie, do a twirl for me! Ah, actually, take my hand, let's dance!" scrambling up and pulling Kasa-kun into a dance position, regardless of the retorts being thrown.

"E-excuse me! The deal was only _one_ request, I do not have to abide this one!" with poor attempts at resisting being made.

"Huh? That's boring! You gotta play the part, c'mon, let's have some fuuuun~!"

As they tottered around for a moment, my phone buzzed, I picked it up and it was a message from Kao-kun.

It seemed that Hibiki had contacted Kao-kun and he figured out how to bring Sakuma back to his senses. I messaged, asking what he said and through some fumbled replies the few comprehensible responses I received were "fairy tale ending" before pressing further to ask what _he_ did.

Impossible.

There was no way I could do something like that.

After being spun in circles, Kasa-kun seemed to finally escape for a moment and took a seat fairly quickly, while Leo-kun continued to maintain his ridiculous amount of energy.

"Leader seems to be in high spirits. Well, at least you are doing well, I worried that the experience would have been overwhelming for you."

Naru-kun clapped their hands together, making a delighted expression as if everything was normal - to be honest, normal in this school was pretty much this.

"Tsukasa-chan was worried about you, you know? And I mean the both of you. You should be ashamed of yourselves worrying our cute junior like that. He even went out of his way to play cards, and now he's even dressed up so adorably for us to cheer us up, isn't he an admirable knight?"

"Ha? More like he wanted to play card games so he used that as an excuse, and because he lost he has to be in that dress~." I scoffed, half-jokingly.

"So what? I had fun! Hey, Sena, Sena, we should do this again!"

Gods, the little menace bobbed his head from side to side, the little tuft of his hair bouncing along with his movements. He was like an annoying adorable kitten.

"Yeah, but don't forget to eat, we're meant to be having lunch right now, remember?"

I was scolding him, but really it was because I would have forgotten myself if I didn't have to remind him. We were having fun, mindless fun doing whatever we wanted, what our youth should be.

"Huh? Oh, yeah! I forgot! Wahaha! Sena's the best! ✰" flailing his arms wildly before running over towards me and flinging his arms around me into an embrace.

He was such a rascal.

"Yeah, yeah, now hurry up and get off me, how else am I meant to feed you?" casually spoken out.

Leo-kun looked a bit surprised, but his eyes sparkled and he happily nodded in agreement. He never asked or doubted what I said, accepting it like there wasn't any strings attached. It wasn't so he would like me more, it wasn't so he'd be indebted to me - the things we did for each other were because we just wanted to do it for each other.

Because we were happy with one another.

"Ah, Tsukasa-chan, is everything okay?" Naru-kun looked over at Kasa-kun who was making a strange face.

"... is it alright for me to get out of this _dress_ now?" pulling at the fabric indicating his desire to be freed from it as soon as possible.

"Yes, of course...! Sorry, I almost forgot~!" while assisting Kasa-kun's escape from his... maid cage. I continued to feed Leo-kun a few bites while listening to the other two talk, he really was a rascal getting rice pieces stuck onto his face like some baby. "Tsukasa-chan, you can tell your Onee-chan what's bothering you, you know?"

"... that is what I want to ask you, Narukami-senpai. You seem to be on edge, is it due to Sena-senpai's behaviour? Both you and Ritsu-senpai seem to be more aware and knowledgeable towards the current situation, so... if you have concerns, I do not mind hearing it."

"Oh my, aren't you being cheeky? It's nothing like that, Tsukasa-chan. Goodness, and here I was scolding the other two for worrying our cute junior but I'm doing the same!"

I brushed off the few rice grains from Leo-kun's face.

"Is that so? If you insist... my apologies for making such strange assumptions."

It seemed as though Naru-kun received a notification from their phone "Tsukasa-chan, would you mind doing me a tee~ny favour, please?" clasping her hands together like a school girl.

"Well, it depends on the request, but I shall see to it if I can."

"Anzu-chan needs the dress back, so I was hoping you'd run over and give it back to her for us! Oh, and she has a few things she'd like to discuss with you."

"Very well. I can always make time for Onee-sama, and we should return this as soon as we can." as Kasa-kun hastily folded up the outfit, sort of as if he was happy to get rid of it, before promptly getting up and leaving with a polite bow "then, I shall be off."

"... ngh."

Stirring from the side, I forgot Kuma-kun was settled here, sleeping.

"Su-chan's gone." climbing out of his hiding place. Seriously, he could sleep anyway and through anything.

"Yep~ getting our junior involved in something like this... it's not that we don't trust him, but I don't think this is the time to explain everything. He's not a child anymore, he's bright and cheeky, so he probably has an idea, though." sighing as they spoke to Kuma-kun.

What were they on about, though? I wasn't aware of anything that was happening between us seniors.

"Yeah. It'd be a hassle right now, too. Su-chan's the type to go in guns blazing, after all~."

Leo-kun sparked and turned his attention to Kuma-kun and with his usual overly excited tone "hey, it's that guy! Rittsu, right? You're still here, huh!" then turning to face me with a smile, genuinely happy for my sake "see, I told you, Sena! You can make friends - Knights still have the two people you picked up from that day to help us in Checkmate."

He earnestly held my hands.

"You know, I don't really know what happened between us, or what happens in the future, but... you have people who are still standing by your side. Even I'm still here, somehow. So, that's enough to tell me that in the end, everything's gonna be okay in the future!"

I didn't want to let go.

Subconsciously, I squeezed his hands a little, and Leo-kun, in response to feeling it he squeezed back warmly and smiled.

Please don't go.

I don't want him going somewhere far away again, far enough that I couldn't see him anymore.

"Hey, Secchan, can we go outside~? I need to talk to you."

I stared at Kuma-kun, a little annoyed "huh? About what?" still holding onto Leo-kun.

"It's impo~rtant." making an irritating whiney tone, how was I meant to take him seriously?

"If Ritsu-chan is awake at this time just to talk to you, then it _must_ be, you know? Hear him out, Izumi-chan."

"...fine."

I took one last look at Leo-kun, him still smiling then tilting his head giving a look of "I'll still be waiting for you right here!" before letting go of his hands.

[Hallway]

* * *

Leading me out, we walked for a small while heading towards a more secluded spot which wasn't too far, but just far enough to be away from the studio and busier hallways. Kuma-kun sighed before turning to face me.

There was a moment of silence, and then he started.

"Secchan, I'm saying this to you as a friend.

... is this really okay?"

I stared at Kuma-kun blankly.

"In a world where there's no pain, where there's only laughter, where there's only the both of you: your own small little world together... then, yeah, it's everything you'd wish for, ideal."

He paused, before deciding to perhaps open up more? Kuma-kun was acting a little strange, as if he was sympathising with my situation in a way.

"Secchan."

"Y-yeah?"

"You're thinking it too, right? How it would have been better if things never turned out the way they did. That, if it was going to be this painful... then it should have never happened in the first place.

But... we both know that someone like Ou-sama, someone who is such a good person should be loved by everyone. That's why we can't keep someone like that to ourselves."

"What are you talking about?" I pressed, being lectured by Kuma-kun was weird, but it really meant he cared. For him to go out of his way to say something to me rather than taking a backseat like he always has.

"You know, when I saw you and Ou-sama together last year, I was envious. Yeah, I had Maa-kun and he'd always find me no matter what, but we weren't always together like you two were. If you found Secchan, you'd find Ou-sama, and if you found Ou-sama, you'd find Secchan.

Secchan, you're burning on the inside, aren't you? You're not a vampire like me, so you won't die because of it. But... the thought of being separated from Ou-sama again, it hurts, doesn't it? I know it does. The thought of being separated, being forgotten by the person you love burns so much that a vampire like me would turn to ash."

 _Ah, he was comparing this to him and Isara._ The person that Kuma-kun would always reach out to for comfort, the person who he'd search for in the darkness, Isara was the person you'd usually catch him with or even thinking of.

Kuma-kun and I were similar in a few ways, it's why we got along so well. Kuma-kun could only have been talking about someone close to him, someone who made him question his actions if they were right because they worried about the other person, too. But that same person would be someone who drove us to do unthinkable things and act so selfishly.

In a way, they exposed us for who we truly were. Selfish, prideful and unloving beings, that's what we were deep down.

Yet, they were the ones who'd still love us even knowing that, and dig deeper to find something in our core which shone, something under this filth and call it a treasure.

I didn't really know how to reply, though.

Isara and Leo-kun were different. Even though the two were both soft-hearted and both bore hardships alone, the difference between them is what sent one to their grave. Leo-kun was someone who'd give his all for the one he loved, and assuming Isara felt the same to Kuma-kun, he wasn't so naive to do the same.

Half opening my mouth, I tried to respond but in the end, only silence fell from my lips.

"Hey, Secchan. Don't you think this is much crueler? To leave Ou-sama like this?"

Was it? To keep what is beautiful and radiant from being dirtied, was that really something cruel?

"I hate to sound like Anjia... but. Ou-sama is strong, stronger than you think. Just when we stopped believing that Ou-sama was alive, that his life as an idol had come to end, you were the one who held on and hoped that he'd return. That's why you kept Knights going, even if it was just barely. But he came back, just like you hoped, he survived hell and crawled his way out just to see us, his Knights, again.

Secchan. Ou-sama isn't a child that you need to protect, he's a knight, too."

I didn't know how to feel.

After everything he had done to protect me, Kuma-kun was saying to me now that I didn't have to do the same for him?

... if no one was going to protect that child, the world would corrupt him again, just like it once did already.

"Are you asking me to just throw him out? To send him marching to his death again?"

Before I could raise my voice, before I stopped being able to see the obvious, Kuma-kun cut me off.

"Secchan."

His eyes, adamant, staring at me with such force that it silenced me again.

"I don't care if you don't agree with me and end up hating me, even if you end up hurting me, at least this time I can say I got involved.

Because this time, I'm not going to hide, shivering like a helpless child pathetically waiting for his nice family to come back and comfort him."

Kuma-kun was serious, it was as if he witnessed a tragedy before his eyes, unable to move from the weight-- no, the fear of the unknown from getting involved. After all, it was easier to avoid troubles which didn't concern you and live an easy life.

My expression must have softened, because Kuma-kun relaxed a little and continued.

"Talking so much tires me out, so you're lucky I'm putting all this effort in for you, you know?"

"Can you take this a little more seriously? Just a moment ago you were talking about putting your all into it, and now you're acting like a spoilt brat."

He smiled, a little relieved or something...?

"Mhm~ it's not like me to be so tense and serious, and it's not like _you_ to be so stupid to make the same mistake twice."

I took a moment to think.

...

"I'll give you a hint, didn't you once try so hard to protect someone, you went through lengths to keep them away from _everything?_ You committed a crime and almost destroyed your future being so short-sighted."

_The DDD incident._

"... what are you getting at, Kuma-kun?"

"Looks like the Secchan I know is coming back~. Anyway, I don't wanna talk so much so I'll get to the point, unlike a certain bug. What happened between you and Ou-sama has already happened, there's no changing it, you know that. Otherwise, what you're doing now... you're just running away from it."

[Studio]

* * *

It seemed that while we were gone, Leo-kun had occupied himself with composing, sheets strewn over the floor - Naru-kun wasn't there anymore, either.

"Ah, Sena! You're back! That Naru person went off somewhere, I didn't really ask though so I dunno where they went."

It's a good thing I wasn't looking for Naru-kun, really, Leo-kun was useless.

I came over and sat down for a moment, watching him flit about composing and humming.

"What song is it this time?"

"A masterpiece of course!"

"... yeah, it always is. But what makes this one different, stupid."

Leo-kun paused and lowered his pen. He smiled at me again.

"It's the "Sena was really nice to me today it almost creeped me out" song!"

A small low laugh escaped from me.

"What's that meant to mean? I'm always nice~."

"No way! You always choose the weirdest times to be nice to me!"

Perhaps that was true? It's not like I chose to go out of my way just be nice to him, though. It happened when it just happened to.

Looking at him, Kuma-kun was right, annoyingly enough.

To deny the Leo-kun of the present, the Leo-kun I met when he announced Judgement, that Leo-kun who I no longer understood anything about. That would be denying that stubbornness and love he had that let him cling onto that single thread of life as he climbed out of hell.

What I was doing was choosing to let Leo-kun dangle on that spider's thread until it snapped, letting him fall back into hell.

The world isn't a beautiful place, there is no such thing a beauteous life.

The hardships we went through tell us that.

Again, I was blinded by my desires, so much I almost crushed him again.

But this time, I wasn't alone. Knights isn't just the two of us anymore.

"Leo-kun, come here."

He responded and jumped up, leaving behind his papers on the floor and came straight up to me, smiling so innocently.

"What is it, Sena~?"

Ruffling his hair he made a squeak of some sort before giggling nonsensically.

It was so difficult.

"That doesn't answer anything, stuuupid~!"

"You had something in your hair." I blurted to cover myself up.

"Huh? Oh! Is that it?"

I took a step closer, and without thinking I pulled him into a close embrace again.

Really, his smile was the most beautiful thing on this earth.

"...?" giving a clueless stare at me with such honesty... such genuine feelings.

How could I? It was like killing him a second time with my own hands.

"... Sena, I love you. I always will, okay?"

Damn it! Saying such things with ease.

But he meant it, even now, not knowing the situation entirely, he'd reach out to me and make sure _I_ was okay. If he could do that so easily, then I should resolve myself to doing what I can for him, too.

I took one last look at him and smiled.

Before wiping that smile from this world once again.

Looking at his eyes, still full of wonder, unsullied by these corrupted hands dyed in wrongdoings...

I cupped his cheeks into my hands, holding him closely.

"Sorry-- no... thank you, Leo-kun."

Pulling him forward.

I took my first step forward again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> b r o  
> I have no brain so I wanted to get it out and finished.  
> Thank you for staying until the end.  
> Ritsu was unplanned but he just talks wth

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm no veteran writer, to be frank, this is my first piece I'll be writing.  
> I heavily enjoy Akira's work in Ensemble Stars! (possibly bordering a crazy fanatic at this point), mainly in regards to Knights and Undead, so hopefully I can express my interpretations and appreciation of his work through this. (Sorry for the rambling, I've never really posted writing before!)
> 
> My work will remain as close as possible to canon in terms of timeline and relationships (but of course, relationships are more of a fan-interpretation).  
> This work, as stated in the beginning occurs AFTER Halloween Party (Horror Night Halloween) but before Starlight Festival.
> 
> (Note: Any errors, criticism or feedback of any kind is welcome!)


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